“Just A Thought” with Kerry R.
One of the more common themes that keep coming up around myself and friends is how busy we are! Whether it is work, children, relationships or the whole lot combined.. we just never feel like there are enough hours in the day to get everything done. This almost always leads to feelings of frustration, stress and even a feeling of just not being enough.
So how do we navigate a world which is always seeming to pull us in so many different directions? We start by knowing exactly what we want. Sometimes we have to work this out by experiencing that which we don’t exactly want in our lives BUT one thing is certain, whether we experience something we do want or whether we experience the opposite, how we feel tells us everything we need to know in the end.
We just have to be honest. And it starts with ourselves.
The thing is, when we start being honest with ourselves we start to recognise all the areas of our lives that are pulling our attention in the wrong direction, I think we then begin to recognise the places where changes are needed.
Suddenly we recognise that we have to start letting some things go. And dare I say it, we have to learn to say NO. Not only that, we have to learn to say no unapologetically.
Change isn’t always easy. Saying no and feeling like you are letting people down is uncomfortable.. But guess what? Spreading yourself so thin trying to keep everyone happy (except yourself) hurts your spirit so much more.
Let it be uncomfortable. Let people be unimpressed with you. But know that it is all for the right reasons.
Is it selfish? On some level probably but I’m actually fully on board with being selfish at times. Sometimes we need to be our main priority. Sometimes we need to say no in order to pursue whatever it is that lights us up inside. If making your wellbeing your main priority makes you selfish.. so be it.
The other problem we tend to encounter when we begin to say no is that niggling urge to explain ourselves. We always feel like there should be an explanation that follows the word no. The reality is we can say no and mean it without having to try to justify it.
Obviously, there are times when giving an explanation is only fair to the other person. Being empowered enough to say no to anything that doesn’t fill you with excitement does not give you free reign to be an ass.
Let’s be clear, saying no can be empowering. It can allow you to regain a sense of control over your already busy life.. it’s an invaluable tool that many authentically dynamic women carry in their kit. The key is knowing how to use this tool in a way which frees you from unnecessary time stealing tasks while being gracious and understanding.
Are you tired of hearing yourself say how busy you are?
Are you running around like a busy fool?
Are you starting to resent the people who always seem to need your time or attention?
If so then start making changes today.
What are you unhappy with exactly? Identify the issue and change it.
Say no to picking up everyone else’s responsibilities.
Be a little bit more selfish with your time.
Make your priorities your main priority.
Like I said before, beginning to change these areas can be really uncomfortable and some people probably wont like the fact that you are no longer as “available” as you once were. But I can honestly say that finding your voice can be one of the most single empowering things you can do for yourself. Respect your time and others will have no choice but to do the same.